What did you think when you read that headline?
Did you think it sounded crazy?
Did it feel a little familiar?
Here is the thing about beliefs, at least the ones I help uncover and the way that I work with them. They are not something we would want or EVER consciously decide. Most of the time there can be a twinge of embarrassment saying out loud in front of someone.
That is what happened for me when I uncovered I had the belief “It isn’t real love unless you can hate the person and still want to be with them.”
It made sense to find out I had this belief considering the tumultuous dynamic I had with my partner.
Our subconscious beliefs are everything! They are why we have, don’t have, what we feel, what we are missing, they are why our life is how it is, the good, bad, and the ugly.
Most of us are walking around with beliefs along the lines of:
I’m not good enough
Something bad might happen
No one understands me
I’m not lovable
There is something wrong with me
I can’t make it alone
And we wonder why we don’t get the promotion, we end up in unhealthy or unfulfilling relationships or we don’t ever let our guard down enough to feel what a deeply intimate relationship can feel like.
This saddens me more than anything in the world and is why helping people identify their beliefs and clear them is so important to me. I help people find the ugly and replace it with the good, beautiful, and empowering.
So where do beliefs come from?
They form out of our experiences and the conclusions we have come to because of those experiences. They come from our caregivers, our community, people we look up to, and even people we want no connection to.
They are not something we have decided to believe at least not our core ones. The majority of our beliefs are created before we are 10 years old and we keep layering them on top of them.
They are very valuable and used for survival. They are in place to keep us from being hurt or getting into something that we can’t handle.
For example, if in the past you were hurt by love, the subconscious may create a belief of “I am unlovable” to either prep you to be unloved or stop you from getting in a relationship in the first place, so you don’t get hurt and rejected again.
Do you see how powerful, yet ironic our subconscious beliefs are?
Now, I invite you to look back at the above list of beliefs.
Think about your life and experiences and ask yourself, “Which of those beliefs makes sense considering what I have experienced in my life ?” If I believed x, y or z about myself, the world or other people, would that create the patterns or behaviors I’ve had up until now?
Let yourself select a belief that you think you may have stored in your subconscious.
In case you need some more examples to relate to here are a few more negative beliefs:
It is bad to be different
I am a failure
I’m not smart
I’ll never succeed
People aren’t safe
The world isn’t safe
Money is evil
Their needs are more important than mine
And now, I invite you to start digging a little deeper.
Considering the belief you chose to explore, can you see how having that belief has impacted your life?
Can you see the choices you have made because that belief has run like a truth in your brain?
Or the risks you have or haven’t taken because of the belief?
Can you see how one or many of the beliefs have gotten you in trouble?
Or what self-talk it has created? Eg. “You are so stupid, you can’t do anything right.”
Can you see how it would lead you into certain circumstances or toward certain people?
In my personal example, “It is only real love if you hate the person and still want to be with them” attracted me to an unhealthy relationship with a lot of passionate energy, but not necessarily a healthy dynamic.
That belief contributed to a healthy dynamic feeling boring/basic and kept me in a painful cycle.
For someone else, we might use the example of “I’m not smart.” or “I’ll never succeed.” Would a person with this belief running under the surface really put themselves out there at their job or in their life?
Can you see how your beliefs can limit you?
How they can direct your actions a certain way or in a certain pattern?
Can you imagine how different life could be or would have been if you could remove the negative beliefs?
I am in awe of how life can change after uncovering core beliefs and replacing them with positive beliefs that compliment what you want to experience.
I’d love to help you identify a core belief so you can start to control the beliefs instead of the beliefs controlling you.
I would love to support you as we discover what it has created or kept you from in your life and take the steps to change it all.
Are you ready to see what life can be like when you are 100% in charge?