SHE SAID "What are you trying not to see?"

A colleague posed that question when I pointed out this swollen eye-o-mine.
Can I say how much I love my peeps and how hey challenge EVERYTHING about life.

And can I also say F**K.

I wondered what this stye like thing was about and once she said it, it felt like a gut punch.
I'm being told my dad does not have long in this world and it is hard.
I don't want to see pain.

I don't want to see fear.

I don't want to see suffering.

I don't want to see grief.

I don't want to see how f'ed our health care system is.

I don't want to see how hard life is because this stupid virus makes it scary to travel and unsafe to visit.

And I’m struggling a bit because it is all coming up for me to see and experience.

Sometimes I wish there was vacation time from being highly sensitive and other times I think life would be empty not feeling so deeply.

And every day I am grateful for the tools I have otherwise I don't know how I could handle it all.

So as much as I don’t want to see these things, they are there, and rather than try to push them down or hide them away, I choose to be with them and I encourage you to do the same.

If you are going through a rough time, regardless of what it is, let yourself be with it.

If it is grief, let grief be there.

If it is anger, be angry.

If it is sadness, be sad.

Cry, scream, run. Do what feels good without covering it up or squashing it down.

Don't let it fester.. let it out.

If you need support. Get it.

And as always, I’m here to help ♡