Being a highly sensitive empath can be a blessing and a curse. The rest of you HSE’s, you know what I mean, right? Until you can learn how to use it as a gift it can be torture. And even once you have learned how to use it as a gift there can still be events that knock your right on your emotional ass.
If you have been following me recently you may know, I picked up and moved, starting from scratch or maybe from minus, lol. I left my home, half of my pets 😭 and my partner, closed my store and packed 99% of my belonging and loaded them in storage so I could do some much-needed inner work. Nothing is certain still, which is not one of my favorite states to be in.
Will I stay here? Will I move back? Can he and I work things out? Will I see my cats again? Will he get rid of the dog that drove me to the edge of insanity? Can I feel fulfilled in a town that wasn’t into all the things that I do - yet has its quaint qualities I began to appreciate? It’s some rough stuff.
And then add my constant desire to dig even deeper and find purpose and meaning to life, I’m really taking myself for a ride – Sometimes I feel like super women, other times I’m falling to pieces but mostly in a place hopping back and forth between the two.
This week has been an in between and falling to pieces kind of week. My dad is back in the hospital in Pennsylvania and I feel bad that so much has happened for him just weeks after I came down to Florida. I’m not physically there and I’m a little mentally preoccupied, so there may be a little guilt and fear.
I am just trying to plug away to get business established and build myself up again, while juggling what is still happening back “home”.
Months back, I met an amazing fellow Reiki Master Teacher and something about her made me feel so comfortable I shared an idea I had for months, probably closer to a year. I wanted to work with reiki more often and also wanted to make it more accessible to people, so I had this idea for a Group Reiki Membership.
Within weeks we launched the program and it has been going strong ever since. This membership provides reiki healing from a distance and for those of you that are familiar with reiki you know this can be done once you are attuned to level 2. Almost everyone can pin point one or more things that have changed about their life since beginning with us.
*Side note, how cool is intuition to set me up a business I could provide from anywhere, just before I need to leave (or sometimes I think it was all the reiki healing that happened that initiated me knowing I needed to leave.
Anyway, I have been feeling so at home at peace since I arrived in Florida, until yesterday when I got a gut punch by someone completely insulting me and the idea of this style of reiki. She used her “knowledge” from her healer friends as her “facts” as to why what Val and I are doing isn’t right. In fact, she accused me of being unethical (and I’m supposed to work with this person – awkward!)
I know I am not doing anything wrong, not a single one of my 7 maybe 8 reiki trainings contradicts this idea and based on her email I could assume she is an ignorant, rude, short tempered, threatened, jealous, resentful, isn’t following her dream, or she hasn’t had the support she has craved all of her life.
But no matter what her issue is the fact that she chose to direct toward me, it impacted me. I took it personal for a bit. Then when I realized the bigger picture what actually bothers me about it all is that people can be so mean. So selfish and quick to throw rude, disrespectful worlds around as if they don’t care how it may affect the recipient.
Aren’t there enough meme’s out there saying “Be kind because You never know what someone is going through on the inside.”?
And I’d like to say, I would have loved if she contacted me and said “what you are offering doesn’t make sense, because everything I know says it has to be done x,y,z. Tell me why you can do it differently. Let me learn and then come to an educated decision.” But she didn’t. She came in full attack mode with ignorance as her weapon.
It is just sad. Why can people be so mean? Why so ugly? Aren’t we all just trying to survive this life and find some safety, joy and fulfillment? Some of us are even trying to make it a better place for other too.
I’d love to think my reply to her may open her mind and allow her to approach me again, more gently so we can set the nastiness aside. And I won’t hold my breath.
But one the main things I can take from it is that people can also be so beautiful too. Because when I shared the info with Val, my Fellow Reiki Master Teacher, her immediate reply was
“Oh, so sad. I feel bad for that person. Send them love.” And I mean immediate she say “Send them love.”
And in that, I felt something, maybe compassion is a better way to describe it for where I am right now, but I am listening to Val and my intention is to send her love, (though still slightly jarred from the circumstance).
I’m sending myself some love.
And I’m sending even more to our Group Reiki Members for being open minded, believing in us and allowing us to show people what they think is impossible is actually quite possible and profound.
I know I wouldn’t be where I am if it hadn’t begun.
Does Distant Group Reiki sound crazy to you? If it does, please refrain from telling me off 🤣 but lets chat.
I like to hear about what the limitations feel like. I love how we are learning about how limitless energy really is. It is simply our perception that is holding us back. I won’t be trying to force you into a different believe, just to chat and learn more.